Want to know the Secret to Filling the Void? Discover the Root of Emptiness

“I’m ticking all the boxes, doing as I am told, things are going relatively well but why do I feel like something is missing?”

The root of emptiness? Disconnection

The modern-day human being often denies the existence of their soul, inhabiting the cluttered, busy space of their mind while remaining disconnected from their emotions, body, and the earth.

We solely rely on mental analysis, disregarding subtle cues from our bodies and labeling emotions as ‘weak.’ In this state, we perceive ourselves as separate from the earth, oblivious to our interconnectedness with her, akin to children deprived of their mother’s nurturing love.

This sense of emptiness within stems from disconnection. We have been disconnected from parts of ourselves, source, and the web of life. We have been misled to believe we are only the physical body, mind and thoughts.

In today’s wellness and self care industry, the focus primarily revolves around the physical and mental aspects.

Performance coaching, spa days, talk therapy, and cold therapy are all tools that operate on physical and mental levels. However, when it comes to addressing the emotional and spiritual dimensions, people often harbor skepticism or fear.

4 main aspects of Self – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual

To feel whole, we must first recognize that we extend beyond our bodies and brains. We are not our thoughts. The emotional and spiritual dimensions of the Self hold equal validity, despite being invisible to our physical eyes. Let’s remember that ‘only a small fraction of the electromagnetic energy surrounding us is detectable by the human eye’.

We try to fill a gaping hole inside with external temporary fixes

Throughout our lives, we often experience a sense of incompleteness, accompanied by a profound hunger and longing that we attempt to satisfy with fantasies of romance, success, or material possessions.

Many of us can relate to yearning and feeling unfulfilled. For years in my adult life, I felt as though I existed in a state of numbness, mindlessly navigating through each day like a zombie. I sought to fill this immense void with alcohol, cigarettes, and work.

We ‘feel’ dead inside because we are numb and disconnected. We are scared to feel.

The majority of us have never learned healthy methods of processing emotions. Instead, we resort to any means necessary to distract, evade, and suppress any discomfort that arises. We fear the unknown and perceive the overwhelming surge of emotions as something we’ll suffocate beneath.

I know this very well, for over 20 years, I drank my feelings. Even when I woke up consumed by shame and tormented by brutal hangovers, I considered this preferable to facing my emotions and discomfort head-on.

It was only when I hit rock bottom that I stumbled into recovery and got sober. In sobriety, anxiety and then depression began to emerge, forcing me to confront everything I had been running away from. 

Graduated with a Ph.D. in Emotional Fortitude after a rigorous five-year program 😂

For the last 5 years, I navigated anxiety and depression by feeling my way through. The more I resist, it persists. I had to become willing to get comfortable with discomfort.

I began to meet my emotions head-on, healthily processing them (my tool kit: crying, very-ugly-crying, howling, screaming into a pillow, sounding, stomping, dancing, shaking, boxing, energy clearing). Emotions are just energy in motion, it needs to move and it will pass.

When I make space to feel, the release always leaves me lighter, with more clarity.

Each time, the deeper and wider my container becomes for holding space for myself and others to do the same.

If you’re wondering how to break an addiction or heal from an eating disorder, I invite you to try feeling your feelings.

We return to wholeness through the heart. By feeling.

This is how we remember how to be human. By feeling, we heal, we come alive! This is our gateway to remembering we are all connected and we are spirit in human form.

As I gradually cultivated a sense of safety within my own body and ceased to fear my emotions, the yearning stopped and the gaping hole went away. The coping mechanisms and limiting beliefs which were such a burden to carry, began to fall away.

When you consciously feel, you start to liberate yourself from the invisible force that guides your actions, thoughts, and behavior. You begin to respond (not react) to life.

In recent days, it became clear that I want my cacao ceremonies to be a safe space to feel. A space where you begin to tune into your heart and allow yourself to feel. Our healing really begins with allowing ourselves to feel.